| SWITCHED! |
[Mar. 28th, 2011|12:48 am] |
|
To Tumblr that is. Be back when I feel the need for an essay. |
|
|
| Perfection of your face slows me down, slows me down |
[Mar. 24th, 2011|03:17 pm] |
Teeheehee was sifting through my folders under 'Pictures' last night and came across multiple photos of Mal and I before Europe last July/August and had a good laugh. I would share but I think Mal would scream at me and go, 'FOR PRIVATE VIEWING PURPOSES ONLY!!!!!!!'
But here are some I came across under 'Miscellaneous' in my Europe folder:
All huddled up on my couch, off work because of a horrid cold I've had for the past few days. My nose's been blocked for three days in a stretch and I can hardly smell/taste my food. 'Never Gonna Leave This Bed' has been on a loop on my iTunes, iTouch since... forever. Would've been even better if Maroon 5 had it out when we were still in Europe... Waking up to this song would've been divine.
Work has been rather alright lately. I feel like I've done better... or at least I would like to think so. Gonn head out in a bit to Mal's for my weekly stay over (because Ghost Lab shows only on Thursdays and Fridays!!!) and get down to whatever I've planned to do but for now, a short nap 'cause my head's starting to throb again. Meh.... |
|
|
| There's a fire starting in my heart |
[Mar. 13th, 2011|03:35 pm] |
Still ripping pictures off Malcolm 'cause I'm cheap like that (I uploaded them anyway). Loaned camera to Sarah who went to Hokkaido (because I'm a good friend like that) day before the earthquake occurred in Japan. Dental follow up tomorrow afternoon = another half day off work. Think I'd be getting a splint after all, the meds didn't seem to help. Saw Grace's tweet about how her head hurt after she sneezed and wondered if she's dying. My ears hurt on the inside everytime I yawn... I must have been dead long ago.
Work's been much of a hum-drum as usual. No significant breakthrough, no nothing. I've probably been more stressed out by work which would explain why my jaw still hurts (doc's mentioned it could be stress induced). But I'm hoping still and hope keeps us all going. Well at least we've got the flights settled. I'm feeling so much more grounded now that it's done. At least now I can safely say that we're going to LA. And then a long, long weekend in New York before I fly back on my own. Work commitment, I know right. And guess what, Mal's only flying back on the day of our one year anniversary. Yes, that means he's only going to be back the following day and we're going to miss the special day on a whole.
Yeah he didn't realize when he booked the tickets.
Ah well.
Dinner with David and bunch later and we're back to another week of monotony. |
|
|
| So I surrender, to every word you whisper |
[Feb. 28th, 2011|01:08 am] |
Sifting through Malcolm's pictures of Amsterdam and Brussels made me miss the two places. And they reminded me of how pretty Brussels is, what with the cobblestone paved walkway everywhere and not to mention me losing my wallet. Nope, I'll never quite get over that.
I get into this phase almost every other day, feeling so hopeless about everything. Mom asked why do I have so much grouses and I said, 'I just have nothing to look forward to in life right now'. Maybe in May, if everything goes fine. We'll be out of this place, to the U-S of A. That's something worth anticipating for now. Who knows, maybe as a bonus, my 20th will turn out splendid.
And you'll be watching me sing to Empire State of Mind. |
|
|
| It was a moment of weakness, I was a fool |
[Feb. 24th, 2011|12:09 am] |
It has been quite a while since I've last felt this way. This... urge to spin out of control and just be gone for a while but sadly reality always catches up with me and as much as I want to pull the disappearing act on everyone, I just can't. I'm starting to be more like how I was when I was way younger, someone I do not quite fancy really.
And I just wanna make things right again. |
|
|
| The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear |
[Feb. 20th, 2011|12:36 pm] |
Currently hauling Mal's Europe pictures from camera to Macbook... The original plan was to go back to bed right after he's left for the gym but once you turn on your Macbook there's simply no return. I needed new profile pictures anyway, and he has shit load of me in his camera so... why not? |
|
|
| Walking in circles... because there's simply no way out |
[Feb. 8th, 2011|12:44 am] |
Barely nine hours more and it would've been my second day at work; my new phase in life, my first step into the society, the real world. And honestly, I'm not exactly liking it. I've never been a fan of schedules and routines and I have no idea how some feel that schedules and routines make them feel more alive and in place. I just feel so stifled all the time. That probably explains why most of us are just not in a hurry to plunge right into this place of no return. We will most likely sink than survive at first and even though we might eventually emerge victors, the period of struggling is just... demoralizing, you know?
First day at work and I've never felt as negative as I did today. It was bad to the extent that I actually teared when Mal was going home. It wasn't that we are that inseparable and neither are we in our honeymoon period 'cause we ourselves know best the kind of shit situations we've gotten into because of all the arguments we've had but I guess it would've just been nice to be able to come home to someone you'd want to come home to after a really shitty day and not have him to leave after a while. Yes I'm rather selfish, I would like to keep him to myself forever if I can.
More often than not I find myself changing my plans because of the circumstances. I thought I've had a rather 'concrete' plan a few weeks back but now it seems like things are not going to turn out that way. I know everything happens for a reason but sometimes I just can't help but wonder why it's so unfair, that some people they get it all so easy whereas some of us have got to try so hard? Yes I do realize there are people somewhere in a far worse state than I am and I'm not trying to victimize myself or anything here but really, sometimes you just can't help but want to ask God, 'Why?'.
I've tend to find myself to be someone of extreme ends when it comes to such circumstances. When I place upon myself more stress that I can take, more stress that I should put on myself. Something like... bipolar but not bipolar-bipolar. Most days I just appear frivolous with most of the things going on, whether they should be of a great significance to me or not but some days when I have absolutely no choice but to perform I just get so messed up inside. My thoughts and emotions all in a swirl, I get so anal and I morph into a perfectionist, picking at everything about myself. But thank God I always have someone to balance me out, something that plays the role of a totem in 'Inception'. Most of the times it's Mal telling me it's gonn be okay and then the other times when he's not around, the people that are caught together with me in the situation.
I cannot be more than grateful for them.
-
Caught a bit of Family Guy and everything seems a wee bit better for now. I feel sleep catching up and I sincerely hope that all that chunk was solely the work of PMS and nothing more. Let's hope that things start picking up from now on. |
|
|
| C'est la vie |
[Feb. 3rd, 2011|02:39 am] |
CNY hasn't been quite enjoyable and all I can foresee myself doing this year is just gorging myself silly. My eyes are itchy and puffy constantly and I just wanna sleep all the time. I'm starting work on a permanent basis from Monday on and losing time at a rapid speed. I have a million and one things weighing on my mind yet no way of putting them into words. I can never fathom why those who are supposed to build you up always tend to the ones who tear you down.
Today I took out things from when my sister and I were young, which my mom had stashed away and kept in perfect condition, took a look at them and wondered how things would've turned out if I had gone about doing them differently. Then I told myself, like I always do, that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I find myself standing on the line between giving up and seeing how much more I can take and perhaps I'd never really given much thought about it but I am actually... not a quitter. Maybe because I've never been the kind to really make it a point to go for a lot of things but at the end of the day, fact remains that I still chose to trudge on with life despite everything that's occurred. I'm not the sort who's really of happy-go-lucky material but I would like to think of myself as optimistic... at least for most events.
Which is why I'm still trying.
On a side note, is it me or does Mediacorp repeat the same movies every CNY? I'm pretty positive I've watched the current movie and the one before last year, and the year before. Also, does anyone else think that Channel 8's pre-CNY program's lame? The artistes do a pretty bad job of lip-syncing every year, imo. It has, however, a pretty lulling effect; I find myself dozing off to it every year. |
|
|
| Money on the dime |
[Jan. 27th, 2011|04:26 am] |
Finally caught the widely speculated (been reading tweets about it off my feed) Burlesque and I guess the show really lived up to the speculation going about. I had goosebumps, literally, when Aguilera sang her piece during her character's audition in the movie. And you could definitely tell if they were singing it live while recording and if it was a lip-sync. Very Moulin Rouge-ish but better. Made Mal and I both wish we'd gone see the actual Moulin Rouge show when we were in Paris, ah well.
You bet I was glad I managed to watch the show especially after I've seen the billboards everywhere in Paris and London. Had thought of it to be an average only show 'cause well Cher and Christina Aguilera didn't exactly become famous for making a living out of acting but weeeeeelll I guess you can say they were placed in the show for a reason. A typical, rather predictable storyline (now that I think about it) but well at that point you would've been too blown away by the vocals to actual notice that, unlike that in Step Up. But Step Up's plot was really just... cheesy. Really.
Anyway, meeting Jotham for lunch/dinner (about time!) later and then we'll just see how the rest of the week goes. |
|
|
| Like memories in cold decay |
[Jan. 23rd, 2011|06:20 pm] |
Funny how I was healthier back abroad when it was so much colder than it is here right now. My eyes haven't stop itching; my nose works up every other day and right now my left jaw hurts the crap out of me and since there's a nerve connecting the jaw to the ear... my left ear feels a tight strain inside whenever I yawn/chew. I could barely speak proper a few days back.
Guess it's a trip down to the doc's sometime next week, meh.
But anyway, those were taken on our last day in London, when we woke up real early to check out Kensington Gardens (just right opposite where we stay) before heading down to Camden where Yang Lu's staying at and Harrods after that. A bonus it was a lovely weather too, though it was a tad chilly at Camden. But Camden Market was really neat, like Bugis Street but waaaaaaaaay better. And they had plenty of Asian food around! No wonder Yang Lu said she didn't miss the food back home when I asked her about it.
Got my outfits for CNY settled in London which I'm pretty glad I did 'cause... shops here are pretty boring, to be honest. And being in London kinda made me realize how Singapore is somewhat like a cheap copy of England. EZ link cards, street names, etc. But people there, or rather in Europe generally, are more gracious and really kind. Being back home and interacting with the locals was kinda a bit of a rude wake up call.
Guess that's what it feels like to be home. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
twixplix's journal